This is my soul’s story of becoming human.
It is my personal revelation (in red)
about the universal importance of recovering and embodying
the lost parts of our soul so we can become fully human
and genuinely, wildly alive.
I’m offering this revelation in an unorthodox way:
through my experiences
of remembering and reclaiming Sarah,
the forgotten daughter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene,
as the lost part of my own soul.
If your eyebrows have raised,
or you want to close this book now,
My aim is not to convince or convert,
and you are welcome to interpret my experiences
however you wish.
What’s more important than believing in my soul’s reality
is getting up close and personal with your soul’s reality
and doing whatever it takes to bring all of you home.
Although our soul is the truest and most essential part of us,
we can lose our soul, or parts of it.
In fact, soul loss is an epidemic on this planet
even, and sometimes especially, afflicting
hose of us who have done a tremendous amount
of psychological and spiritual work.
Symptoms may include:
A lack of meaning, purpose,
and intimacy with ourselves.
Persistent physical ailments; emotional blocks; addictions;
harmful, stuck patterns; and unhealthy relationships.
Tendencies toward transcendence, light, and perfectionism,
and (often unconscious) avoidance of immanence, darkness, mess.
Feeling separate from and distrustful of
our bodies, each other, and Life Itself.
Difficulty knowing our truth
and expressing our unique gifts.
A haunting sense that no matter what we do,
something vital is still missing.
And an unremitting ache in our heart
for a Love we cannot find,
and perhaps don’t believe exists,
or feel that we deserve.
Soul loss is behind many global issues we face, including:
injustice, whether political, religious, or social; violence; disease;
excess consumerism; and the ever-growing environmental crisis.
Which is one reason why I wrote this book:
to do my small part in helping
to improve and ease this hurting earth.
Here’s the other reason:
When I turned thirty-four years old,
it became frighteningly clear
that if I did not embody my soul,
I could not continue living.
While I put up quite a fight,
eventually I chose to Live.
I chose to undergo the mysterious process
of embodying my soul and becoming human,
part of which required that I remember and reconcile
my experiences of Sarah and share them in this book.
Although my particular process and soul’s story may appear
more unusual than some, its themes of
love and loss,
betrayal and forgiveness,
suffering and healing,
death and resurrection,
are part of every human’s experience.
In fact, being human is a wound and a trauma we all share.
And yet, it is by embodying our soul and thereby becoming fully human
that we can help heal ourselves and this planet.
Embodying our soul involves purposefully entering our wounds
and facing, feeling, and embracing all parts of ourselves
as well as the dark luminosity of Life.
Embodying our soul entails valiantly wrestling
our divinity to the ground
and spreading our humanity all over the place.
Embodying our soul and becoming human is how
And it is, I believe,
why we are here.
It ain’t easy.
Incarnation takes work.
It takes blood, sweat, and tears;
a wicked sense of humor;
and a heaping dose of devotion
our minds might not ever understand.
Unfortunately, due to dire conditions on this planet,
soul work has become a privilege, and therefore a responsibility
for those of us who have the time and means to do it.
I am aware of my privilege,
and I take my responsibility seriously.
I know that everything we do for our soul
supports all souls and this earth.
In other words, soul work is a form of activism.
It’s a movement toward wholeness
that we make together.
Therefore, Redvelations is more than a book
about my personal journey toward wholeness.
It’s a raw Call to a rare kind of action.
It’s a fiery Reminder
of the absolute necessity
and indomitable power
of your soul.
It’s an open-handed offering
on the often-overlooked
Altar of Our Humanity.
It’s an honoring of the Lineage of Life
and a testament of True Love.
Handle with care.
Redvelations is not a light read
because the soul is not a light thing.
There are suggested “breaks,”
but follow your body’s lead.
I swear. Swear words and soul work
go hand in hand, for me.
What I share in this book
is not intended
to diagnose or treat others.
When working with past trauma,
a safe and secure environment
and a strong support team are needed.
Redvelations shares an intimate relationship
between a man and a woman.
I also use the labels: “Divine Masculine” and “Divine Feminine,”
“father” and “mother,” and the binary pronouns “he” and “she.”
Rather than interpret this literally or as heterosexism,
I encourage you to focus on the metaphoric meaning
and the contrary, but mutually supportive, aspects we all contain,
no matter our sexual preference, sex, gender(s), or beyond.
Bringing these universal aspects together
shatters all restrictions
and creates and sustains Life.
The fluctuating voice and prose-in-verse format of Redvelations
are not literary devices, dramatic affects, poetic posturing,
spiritual performance, or method (like channeling).
In “The Past” part of the book
I allowed my soul to speak in her native tongue,
which is not limited by time or historical language or references.
In “The Present” part of the book
I allowed my humanity and my divinity
to collide in my body
and I wrote from their meeting place.
The Soul ’s Reality
Redvelations comes from
my lived experiences, my body,
and my soul’s memories.
I used no outside sources (save the quote below),
only inner Sources.
You might want to know more details
than are provided in “The Past,”
but my soul shared only what she needed to.
Many of my soul’s memories contradict
what we have been taught as history.
Expressing our soul
exposes a Reality
that can upset the reality
we have subscribed to
and collectively agreed upon.
The soul does not rely upon evidence,
facts, or rationality.
The soul cares less about what you think
and more about what you feel.
The soul’s reality
doesn’t make a lot of sense,
but it makes a lot of Love.
Much of this book takes place in the soul realm.
The soul realm contains our past, present, and future.
It is where I remember my past experiences,
locate and heal my core wounds, process my feelings,
resource my innate wisdom, release trauma from my body,
and reconnect with and retrieve fragmented pieces of my soul.
I do not use techniques, special abilities, practices, or tools
like hypnosis, psychic powers, meditation, or hallucinogens
to enter or work within the soul realm.
I simply and soberly
sink into my body,
ground into the earth,
and open my heart.
The soul realm is easily accessible.
It blazes inside each and every one of us
and permeates the physical reality outside of us.
It’s Organic Reality.
In her brilliant book The Meaning of Mary Magdalene,
Cynthia Bourgeault describes this realm as follows:
It is a realm that objectively exists . . . and it is from this realm that
our human sense of identity and direction ultimately derive. . . .
However one names it, the point to keep uppermost in mind
is that it designates a sphere that is not less real but more real
than our so-called objective reality and whose generative energy
can change the course of events in the world.
Put differently: the soul realm is just as real
as our external or material reality,
and, some say, even more real.
Whether we are aware of it or not,
we are profoundly influenced by this realm
because before, after, and beyond our body
we are a soul.
When we consciously enter this realm,
we can connect intimately with our soul,
and all souls, including the Soul of this Universe.
Therefore, our experiences in the soul realm
are both personal and universal.
And, what we do in this realm directly impacts
our daily lives, our bodies, humanity,
and this entire planet.
In other words, what happens in the soul realm
doesn’t stay in the soul realm.
It affects All of Life.
I do not believe we need
any more spiritual authorities
telling us what The Truth is.
However, I have learned that it is
extremely important to allow the soul
to express its truth with authority.
Especially if the soul has been silenced
for a long time, like mine has.
In Redvelations I have (finally) allowed
my soul to speak her truth with authority
about such things, like
Who We Are, Where We Come From, Why We Are Here,
and the Nature of Reality in this Universe.
I have also (finally) allowed my soul to share
her experience of Jesus and Mary Magdalene,
and her perspective on their teachings.
While I honor and champion
your spiritual authority,
reality, and truth,
it’s time for me to share my own.
You may not like my soul’s truth,
or agree with it, or believe in it,
and you don’t have to,
but I believe that when any soul
dares to express its truth,
it deserves respect
and a reception in the heart.
A Technical Note:
I use a capital S to indicate the Divine Soul,
a lowercase s to indicate the human soul,
and a capital S when I’m referring to them both,
which will be apparent in context.
Redvelations starts backward
at the very beginning of my Soul’s
journey into this Universe,
then provides a brief metaphysical orientation
and spiritual baseline for the rest of the book,
including a fundamental overview of what I refer to
as the “cosmic dimension.”
Initially, Redvelations is more abstract and informative.
In “The Past” my perspective becomes more personal
as I share Sarah’s life.
“The Past” occasionally reads like an unconventional sermon
but mostly like a bittersweet love story that isn’t afraid of the dark.
The writing shifts in “The Present” (more swear words and humor),
as I transparently struggle with what is shared in “The Past”
and question and doubt my experiences.
“The Present” is also where I do the gritty,
yet gratifying, work
of retrieving and embodying my soul.
You may prefer the first half of this book,
or you may prefer the second half.
However, both halves make the Redvelation whole.
As for the complex and provocative phenomenon of “past lives,”
well that’s a subject for a different book,
and the need to return to past lives is specific to each soul.
But for me, I couldn’t move forward in this life
until I went backward.
So, with that, let’s go Backward.